Amnesty For All

Why should clemency apply just to illegal immigrants and their employers?

By Mark Cromer

If Congress follows President Obama’s druthers and begins to draft and debate an immigration reform bill this fall, then I suggest they try a novel approach this time around and sweeten the deal considerably for the American people.

Big business interests are in line to get their cut—cheap labor and suppressed wages. The ethnocentric Latino groups have long demanded their racial payoff—pure ethnic demographic expansionism.

So the question really is: what’s in it for average Americans? I mean besides the higher taxes, increased competition for jobs as wages are suppressed, overcrowded schools, exploding prisons, an unraveling safety net, corroding environment and a declining quality of life?

If Congress really wants to avoid the maelstrom of rage from the American on Main Street sure to be sparked with this coming drive for amnesty, then the “comprehensive” part of this legislation should be expanded to include clemencies and pardons for American citizens.

To that end, I make the following suggestions:

Stolen Cars & Other Goods: In consideration that immigration reform will allow illegal immigrants to avoid deportation if they have been in the country for at least three years, then a grandfather clause should be offered to American citizens who have been in possession of stolen items for the same amount of time. Thus, any American who has been driving a stolen car for at least a few years and has not been caught should be granted ownership of the vehicle free and clear. To placate those “enforcement-first” cops, Congress could add punitive measures that require the car thieves to pay a fine, pass a driver’s test and then get in the back of the vehicle registration line at DMV.

Pick & Choose Your Federal Law: Since various city governments around the country have declared their localities to be “sanctuary cities” and have spent tax dollars to aggressively subvert and obstruct enforcement of federal immigration law, any comprehensive immigration reform legislation should allow each American citizen to pick a federal law that he or she have decided they don’t want to obey. A national registry should be established to record each American’s choice and citizens issued ‘opt-out’ cards—encoded with biometric data for enhanced security. They can present these cards to federal law enforcement officers in the event they are stopped and questioned for breaking a law they have declared themselves exempt from, such as federal gun, drug and labor laws.

Taxes? Schmaxes!: Immigration reform proponents love to tout their claim that illegal immigrants will have to pay any back taxes owed, though they never explain how someone in the country illegally that is working under a bogus name for unscrupulous employers in an underground economy that is entirely off the books, can be expected to honestly report how much they earned. Further, immigration reform lets employers off the hook entirely, as usual. Accordingly, any amnesty bill should also include a provision that immediately eliminates all back taxes owed by every American citizen and mandates refunds for any tax-associated fees, fines, penalties or interest collected from them by the federal or state governments for the past five years.

The SCHEME Act: This would work like a sister bill to the so-called ‘DREAM Act,’ but would benefit only American students, since the DREAM Act is an amnesty provision for the exclusive privilege of illegal immigrants in our schools. The SCHEME Act would benefit every American family that has had to pull their children out of public schools overrun by illegal immigration. This relief would apply to families that were either forced to move or had to pay the costly tuition of a private school so their kids might have a chance at actually getting an education. The SCHEME Act will mandate that Uncle Sam has to reimburse every American family for either the entire cost of their relocation, including any lost wages; or the entire tuition of their private education, including fuel costs if a commute is required.

These are but a few of the possibilities and I encourage my fellow American citizens to forward these suggestions and their own wish list to their representatives in Congress—since they claim the bill will be “comprehensive.”

If an estimated 15 to 25 million illegal immigrants are demanding their “right” to amnesty; all while their greedy, lying employers have ensured they themselves will walk scott free as well, then it’s time for John & Jane America to ask Congress the simple question: What’s in it for us?

But the honest answer to what Americans can expect to enjoy when it comes to amnesty is simple: Absolutely nothing.

Mark Cromer is a senior writing fellow at Californians for Population Stabilization.